You Know What Grinds My Gears?
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: Peter Griffin brings back the famous topic which is on his mind! With all the problems facing the word today, Peter sends out his opinions on the things that really grinds his gears! If there's a topic you want Peter to cover, let him know!
1. Peter on Wrestling

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Peter on Wrestling<strong>

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Wrestling on TV. Why on earth do I have to see half-naked men wrestle each other like they're having gay sex. I mean, it's immoral and sick. Why do I have to sit on my ass and see this thing happen? It's like if I'm watching Greco-Roman wrestling on the Logo network. You've ever seen that channel? It's nothing but pansies and fluff. I swear if I rather watch a channel where I'd see people getting beat up just for my amusement, I'd watch COPS. That's for real men, not like the gay men you see wrestle on TV. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Just to let you know, I am a huge fan of wrestling. I watch it 247 and it's actually my escape to life.**

**Anyway, which topic should you think Peter would cover next? I will take requests on PM or reviews! Anyway, feedbacks are welcome!**


	2. Peter on Justin Bieber

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Peter on Justin Bieber<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Justin Bieber. Apparently, that dopey little haircut he had when he was a teen makes him look like more of a huge fart. I'm not kidding, it's like he wiped up a poo-stain, colored it burnt sienna, and stuck it on top of his head. That makes him a crap-head. Oh, and it's music is crap. It smells much worse than his haircut's worth. If I want to listen to music that's worth my taste, I'd listen to Earth, Wind &amp; Fire, America or KISS. But Justin's Bieber's music? Send that crap-filled crap in the toilet. Oh, and his haircut can go in the toilet as well. It smells worse than Meg's hat. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Tell it like it is Peter. Justin Bieber sucks anyway. I'm a smooth jazz person myself.<br>**

**Anyway, what do you wanna see Peter cover next? Feedbacks are welcome and appreciated! ^_^**


	3. Peter on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Peter on the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? The Ice Bucket Challenge. It's a silly little spectacle where morons dump ice water on themselves, just to make a show. Yeah, I know it's for a cause for people who have Lou Gehrig's Disease, but couldn't we do something different for our lives? I don't know, like sex? That's sounds way better than dumping ice liquid on myself. Besides, I'm very certain that your balls would shrink like a shriveled grapefruit should someone try it. Knowing that I can't stand the Ice Bucket Challenge, I created something that's better than that crap. I created the Acid Bucket Challenge, where you dump a bucket of acid on someone for a cause. We tried it on Meg, and she's in the hospital for third-degree burns. Anyway, if you want shriveled grapenuts, then try the Ice Bucket Challenge. I'm gonna have sex instead. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>I'm certain no one would ever want to try the Acid Bucket Challenge. Sounds painful and deadly.<br>**

**Anyway, give me your suggestions! Until then, feedbacks are welcome! ^_^**


	4. Peter on Nicki Minaj

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4: Peter on Nicki Minaj<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Nicki Minaj. If you already seen her, it's like a black Lady Gaga but with fat all injected in her butt. Have you ever seen her butt? It's like two double Whoppers attached to your ass. Thinking about double Whoppers makes me hungry though. But I'm not here to eat, I'm here to talk about Nicki Minaj. I would so do her. The only thing I hate about her is her music, though. It nearly sounds like two dying birds having sex with each other. I'd listen to Ariana Grande instead, but that isn't worth it either since she dresses a lot like a whore. So, maybe she and Nicki are whores. But I'd do both of them, no matter what my wife Lois thinks. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>I'd agree with Peter about that situation, especially when Nicki Minaj is in that "Anaconda" video. Now that's hot!<br>**

**Anyway, keep those suggestions coming! Salud! ^_^**


	5. Peter on Frozen

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Peter on Frozen<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Frozen. I don't understand why so many people are so addicted to that movie. The plot involves a sister who travels with Owen Wilson and they have to find the hot babe with ice powers so that they could stop an eternal winter. I haven't seen it until just this yesterday when Meg got it on DVD. And after seeing it, I would do the ice chick. I think her name's either Elsa, Ella, or Elephant, but I'd do her. I don't care if I cheat on my wife, I want that hot sexy bitch all to myself. So far, hate the movie but I love the hot blonde ice chick. I'd do her sister too. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Yeah, I guess many guys would find Elsa hot with that sparkly blue dress. Anna's alright too. I like her.<br>**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics in! Salud! ^_^**


	6. Peter on Bob's Burgers

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6: Peter on Bob's Burgers<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Bob's Burgers. I don't know why it's so funny. The title doesn't even do justice, considering it's all about a fat middle-aged man with a moustache with a wife that sounds too much like a gay guy. And have you even checked out their children? The tall one looks like a more nerdy Meg with a Beatle haircut, the son looks like a short, yet fat George Harrison, and the younger daughter wears bunny ears for a hat. I don't know why, but putting bunny ears on your own daughter sounds like they wanna pose for Playboy magazine. Imagine if your 10-year old daughter poses for a nudie magazine. That's child pornography and that's sick, even on my standards. Why name your show "Bob's Burgers" if they're not centered on the burgers themselves? I wanna see burgers sizzle, not having to see a conversation of people inside a low-down burger joint. If I want to see food sizzle, I'd watch anything on the Food Channel. For Bob's Burgers, I hate shows that fool me because of the title. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Truth is, I watch the Food Channel. Huge fan of Trisha's Southern Kitchen here!<br>**

**Keep bringing those topics in! LATER! ^_^**


	7. Peter on Charlie Sheen

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7: Charlie Sheen<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Charlie Sheen. I don't know why I brought that up, but it's something about him that makes my innards chill like frozen turds. Is it that drunken glare in his eyes whenever he's in mugshots. Is it that annoying catchphrase that keeps getting into our brains every night and day? You know, with all of that 'WINNING' this and 'WINNING' that? Or maybe the way he sleeps with sluts out of all sizes, whether they're small or large, beautiful or ugly, white or black, flat or busty, young or old, teenage or elderly, diseased or mentally challenged, or skinny or thick and curvy? I don't know why I'm trashing him like this, but I do have one reason why he really grinds my gears: I hate the way I absolutely frickin' love him. That guy is like an acting god. I would worship the ground that guy walks on. And 'Two And A Half Men' f***ing rocks. Way better than that awful Full House. Maybe I should be talking about how awful 'Full House' is instead. Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Who knows, maybe I'll cover Full House in a future chapter. Anyone agree?<br>**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics for me! C-YA! ^_^**


	8. Peter on My Little Pony

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: My Little Pony<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? My Little Pony? I don't get why guys are starting to love the girly crap. I mean, us men like things like sports, beer and kicking ass, but My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic? Where is America coming to? Instead of looking up to our President, we look up to six colorful ponies who promote friendship and honesty towards others. So far, we got a pony with a cowboy hat with Apples on her ass, a pony with three diamonds on her ass, a pony with balloons on her ass, a pony with butterflies on her ass, a pony with rainbow-colored lightning on her ass, and a pony with stars on her ass. Are they tattoos? How right is it to tattoo a horse like that? That's animal abuse people. So far, I don't support anyone who tattoos their horses. Unless if it's a retarded horse, then it's fine by me."<p>

"Worst of all, there's a male My Little Pony fanbase out there called Bronies. Of course, they're the kind of people who discuss about ponies, talk about the episodes they've seen, and share some fan-made ponies that they've created. If those are the kind of people we're gonna look up to, then do what's right with you. But it's not gonna be fun when nuclear rain pours on the rest of this country, full of fire and bloodshed. All of us are gonna die and not live to tell about it because we listen to colorful ponies. Remember, that's your fault, America. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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><p><strong>To be truthful, I'm a huge Brony myself.<br>**

**Keep bringing in those topics for me anyway you can! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	9. Peter On One Direction

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9: One Direction<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? One Direction. They suck dog turds. Need I say anymore? Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>I agree, even though that was only one statement with only one paragraph.<br>**

**Anyway, keep coming with those topics! Salud! ^_^**


	10. Peter on Miley Cyrus

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Peter on Miley Cyrus<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Miley Cyrus. I don't know what to say about her? We first see her touching hearts and inspiring people as Hannah Montana, and the next thing you know, she's shaking her naked butt in front of our faces and even God himself. Like he couldn't get offended by something so vile and unhealthy like that. I think Billy Ray Cyrus should do something about this? Odds are he wouldn't do anything jack-shit except flip his mullet around. If anything else, Miley Cyrus should belong in an asylum. She's a total short-haired wackjob who looks like a gay teenager, plain and simple. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Yeah, I never knew that about her too. Strange, huh?<br>**

**Anyway, keep bring in those topics! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	11. Peter on Amanda Bynes

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: Peter on Amanda Bynes<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Amanda Bynes. How on earth could a woman we know 20 years ago as a kid actor end up turning into a drunken mess of a whore? The same woman who gave us 'All That', 'The Amanda Show', and that horrible puke-eating mess that was 'Big Fat Liar' and here she is throwing those good crack bottles around New York City. And to think that my daughter Meg watches her. I cringe to see Meg in the circumstance that Amanda's in. But then, she never listens to me one bit. So if Amanda Bynes ever tries to urinate on a mailbox while being drugged and laced with PCP, then I'm certain Meg would do that too. Just not in my mailbox. And that my friends, is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Yeah, I never knew that about her too. Strange, huh?<br>**

**Anyway, keep bring in those topics! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	12. Peter on 19 Kids and Counting

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Peter on 19 Kids and Counting<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? That show <em>'19 Kids and Counting'<em> on TLC. Just exactly how many kids is that balloon pumping out? It's like a frickin fastball machine just shooting baby after baby after baby. And you wanna know the scary part about that? All of those kids look just like the frickin' mom and dad themselves. I'm not gonna lie, but those kids look like they could be clones! Heck, those kids look exactly like Mom and Dad if they were at least five or ten years old. You ever seen their dad? It's like a clown without any makeup. All in all, it's a boring show, nothing funny or exciting happens, and I hate it when the kids on that show cry and s**t their pants. Therefore, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, unless if the deaf and dumb are willing to stomach through afterbirths of another Duggar. As for me, I'm a Duck Dynasty man all the way. That's the show I prefer other than _19 Kids And Counting_. But, there is one thing I do appreciate about that show however: It's the moment when it's over. And that's what really grinds my gears."

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><p><strong>Yeah, I'm not such a fan of 19 Kids and Counting either. Just like Peter, I'm a Duck Dynasty man all the way. No one beats the beard of Willie!<br>**

**More topics on your mind? Just send them to me for a future chapter! Until then, C-ya! ^_^**


	13. Peter on The Hunger Games

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Peter on The Hunger Games<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? The Hunger Games. I really thought that it was like a mixture of Olympics and food. You know, the idea having to toss a cookie flying high into the air, or perhaps pole vaulting into a tub of ice cream. Or better yet, how about having to run the 400 yard dash while having to grab a Subway Sandwich? I usually thought the Hunger Games were just like that. But when I saw the movie, I was f**king disappointed. It didn't show any food or all. It didn't show any burgers, fries, pizza, tacos, chicken, none of the above. It was a bunch of teenagers killing each other just for our teenagers amusement. If you're gonna call it the Hunger Games, for f**k's sake, include food in there! That way, I could imagine having to eat and compete in the same time! If you're gonna include violence and blood in which teenagers enjoy, call the film 'Kill Those F***ers Now'. Which I plan to do because of the way I was tricked by the title itself. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>No offense, but I'm not exactly a fan of the Hunger Games myself. I don't know why, but I'm just not. Nothing personal.<br>**

**Anyway, got any topics you thought of? Just let me know! Until then, peace! ^_^**


	14. Peter on Soap Operas

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: Peter on Soap Operas<br>**

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><p>"You know what really grinds my gears? Soap Operas. All of them include the same damn thing: Cheating, having sex with someone's wife, bribing and blackmailing someone, killing off a bitch who murdered your wife, and mindless sex under the bed covers. You wanna make soap operas interesting? Include frickin' soap in there while's someone's singing off-key. Even so, I wouldn't want to be caught dead watching it. Maybe Lois is used to that sorta thing. Having someone sing like a retard while having to be scrubbed with Dove soap. Maybe it's alright if it's a hot chick doing that. And that is what really grinds my gears. Oh, and P.S., The Bold And The Beautiful is better than all soap operas out there. So suck it, General Hospital."<p>

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><p><strong>Yes, to be truthful, I also speak the language of B&amp;B, hands down.<br>**

**More topics on your mind? Just let me know! Until then, WOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	15. Peter on Brock Lesnar

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: Brock Lesnar<br>**

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><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Brock Lesnar not defending the WWE Title frequently. He's the same guy who became the 2002 King of the Ring, who at one time became the youngest WWE Champion in history at age 25 (that honor now belongs to Randy Orton, who won the WWE title at 24 years old), became the UFC champion, and just recently, became the '1' in 21-1 when it came to ending Undertaker's streak at WrestleMania XXX. Just now, he won his third WWE Championship against John Cena at Summerslam. And now, he's busy sitting on his lazy lardass doing nothing. He doesn't defend his title often, he doesn't fight often. Instead, Brock Lesnar spends his time taking craps the size of his entire butt while watching latinas shake their booties while riding rods. Yes, I know it's sexual to explain why, but I guara-damn-tee you that's what Brock Lesnar's doing. My advice to you Lesnar, is to get off your lazy bum and get a damn brain. I'm certain Stephanie McMahon's got an extra brainstem somewhere. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Tell it like it is, Pete!<br>**

**Got more on your mind? Let me know, broskis! Until then, WOOOOOOOOOOOO! ^_^**


	16. Peter on Monster High

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 16: Peter on Monster High<br>**

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><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Monster High. You don't know what Monster High is? Well, let me bring you up to speed. You ever watch those classic monster movies back in the day? What happens if those classic movie monsters had kids and grew up to be sexy high-class whores that went to a high school? I don't understand why their freaky kids dress like strippers? It's like Mattel's supporting child pornography by making them dress sexy. Characters like Frankie Stein, Spectra Vondergeist, Abbey Bominable and Clawdeen Wolf have no business being in high school. They're monsters. They're supposed to scare the s**t out of s**tless people and whatnot. Therefore, monsters are ugly and smell bad enough to make it look like my daughter. Despite that, I wanna do them hard. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Yeah, I do agree those Monster High girls are pretty much bangable with the racy outfits and all.<strong>

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics! Until then, woohah!**


	17. Peter on John Cena

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17: Peter on John Cena<br>**

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><p>"You know what grinds my gears? John Cena. I don't get why fans like him on Monday Night RAW. Maybe because everyone thinks he resembles and raps just like Marky Mark from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. If you don't even know who Marky Mark is, then I suggest you pull out a time machine out of your ass and head back to the 90's. Believe me, if you even tried to pull one out of your ass, you'd bleed and die considering how large it is. Anyway, back to John Cena. Why say 'The Champ Is Here' when you don't even have the frickin' WWE title. I don't understand? If you don't have the title, then you have no right saying those four words. Hell, if Brock Lesnar is WWE Champion, then he should be the only one saying it. And I'm not even a big fan of both of them. Besides, if you ask me, John Cena looks a lot like a dyslexic Joe Swanson. And yes, I am slamming my best friend on the air, no matter how crippled or retarded he is. And that is what really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Peter's so gonna get his ass kicked by Joe after this is over, believe me.<br>**

**Got more topics on the mind? You know what to do! Until then, C-ya!**


	18. Peter on Country Music

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 18: Peter on Country Music<br>**

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><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Country Music. Where in the hell is this kind of music going to these days? Back then, we had artists like George Jones, Johnny Cash, Hank Williams Jr., Waylon Jennings, Randy Travis, Vince Gill, Tanya Tucker, Glen Campbell, George Strait, Garth Brooks, Clint Black, Reba McEntire, Trisha Yearwood, Toby Keith, Kenny Rogers, Eddie Rabbitt, Crystal Gayle, The Oak Ridge Boys, The Judds and Alabama sing songs that involving break-ups, love songs, and something that was to do with raping someone in the middle in the night without any conviction. Okay, that last part's not true, but I'm certain any sexual pedophile would be used to that. Suddenly, country's turned all sexual thanks to artists like Taylor Swift, Miranda Lambert, Carrie Underwood, Gretchen Wilson, Florida-Georgia Line and Luke Bryan. It's like a whorehouse inside the Grand Ole Opry. Someone should kick their ass and tell them to bring back traditional country music. You know, the kind of music that is wholesome, romantic, boot-scootin and depressing, not this excuse of smut. I swear, if I hear someone singing something about getting f***ed in the ass, I'm gonna start rioting. And that's what grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>I don't know, I kinda like it myself.<strong>

**Anyway, now that review is over and done with, you know what to do. Oh, and keep bringing in those topics. Cheers!**


	19. Peter on Five Nights at Freddy's

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19: Peter on Five Nights at Freddy's<br>**

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><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Five Nights at Freddy's. I haven't checked out what this thing was, until I found out for myself that this was some weird point-and-click game. Get this, you're an employee stuck inside some kiddy pizza place and you have to survive against a bunch of robotic Chuck E. Cheese rejects for the rest of the night. Why is that scary? It's like strapping a Christian to a car seat while making him endure a movie full of violence, gore and hardcore sex. Once they have the images strapped to their mind, they're not gonna get it out. Having the idea of being trapped inside a pizza place while being surrounded by a robotic bear, bunny, chicken and fox waiting to kill you is way too cheesy for me. How can they even kill you when they're machines and they don't even move? Not in this game. They move and they kill you. It's just that simple. I played it and the next thing I knew, I had to get a beer. I rather be doing that than play this game. Then again, Cheesie Charlie's is scary enough than this game itself. I still s**t my pants every time I see the mascot, fearing he's gonna eat my c**k. Boy, I tell ya, that really grinds my gears."<p>

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><p><strong>Truthfully, I never played the game myself, yet I plan not to. Sorry, it's just the way it is.<br>**

**More topics on your mind you want Peter to cover in a later chapter? You know what to do! Until then, cheers!**


	20. Peter on Soft Rock

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 19: Peter on Soft Rock<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Soft rock. Like the late, badass George Carlin definitely puts it, 'Soft rock music isn't rock, and it ain't music. It's just soft.' Carlin could've said it any better than f***ing stone. Although I do like Peter Frampton, he's just the only soft rocker I will only listen to that sounds just this closer to hard rock. REO Speedwagon also counts too. Same goes for Foreigner, Styx, Chicago, and America. Those bands are okay too. To those who I didn't mention in the soft rock genre, you can go eat a bowl of f**k for dinner with s**t on the side. And that my friends, is what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>To be honest, I really like soft rock. You should say that it helps me out with my stories much better<br>**

**More topics on your mind, just let me know! Cheers!**


	21. Peter on Comic-Con

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21: Peter on Comic-Con<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Comic-Con. Why on earth am I trashing Comic-Con? For starters, it's like Halloween without the frickin' candy. Yeah, there seems to be sneak peeks of superhero movies coming out and brand new comic books, just to take a peek at before everyone else. There was a time I used to love it considering I was dressed like part of the A-Team, but considering all the trouble that I caused, I now have total disdain for it. It's like having to imitate what you see on TV and dressing up as them, just to kill the slightest sucker standing beside you. Imagine someone going as Jason Voorhees from 'Friday The 13th' and imagine him hack-and-slashing every teenager that walks before him. And we just had a horror movie convention this side of town not too long ago. Which reminds me that I need to wash the blood out of the knife when I get home. I swear when Meg touched it just to spread some butter on her toast, she might have gotten a good chance of being HIV positive. Anyway, Comic-Con really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, it was a controversial statement, considering about the HIV positive part (which by the way, is a very serious matter because everyone should learn to provide safe sex for everyone and for another way, save your loved one for marriage), but hey, it's Peter Griffin and he says it like it is.<br>**

**Anyway, got more topics for me? Come let me know! Cheers!**


	22. Peter on Football

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 22: Peter Griffin on Football<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? The sport that I like to call football. This is way confusing for me to understand. Yes, I know it's a sport, but if it's called football, then why don't people play it with their feet. Why call it football when you already get your hands on the ball? We'd call it handball, except there's already a sport called handball. And guess what? You actually play the sport using just your hands! How retarded is that? You wanna know what's even more retarded? The part that I referred to when football should only be played using their feet. I found out there's a sport like that. It's called f***ing soccer. So if you can't even play football with your feet and hands, we can always play it using your d***s. Which by the way, we need a new name for football. And I got the perfect name for it: D***ball. That oughta be good. Anyway, football grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I agree, sports like that can be so confusing.<br>**

**More topics on the mind? You know what to do! Cheers!**


	23. Peter on MTV

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23: Peter Griffin on MTV<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? MTV. I mean, it used to be cool with music videos playing non-stop. You'd see a lot of fart jokes from Beavis &amp; ButtHead, see s**t go down in the Real World, throw your dukes up with shows some Headbangers Ball and YO! MTV Raps, and see awesome music videos with sluts shaking and popping their booties with our pleasure. So why am I hating on MTV? I'll tell ya why? They're nothing but infested with reality shows. If you show any show where someone's bound to get drunk and perform rape on a teenage female, I ain't watching it, plain and simple. They need to go back to the original MTV, the kind of MTV where music videos are shown non-stop and not even one reality show is shown on there. I don't care if my daughter f***ing cries when shows like Finding Carter and Teen Wolf are pulled from the air. If she's got a problem, then go fall off a cliff. I'd do the same if I've been watching Miley Cyrus twerk. And that's why MTV now grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>You got that right, Peter. We need to bring back that kind of MTV back.<strong>

**You got more topics? You know what to do! Later!**


	24. Peter on Ice Cream

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 24: Peter Griffin on Ice Cream<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Ice Cream. I don't even know why they even call it that. It's definitely not ice and it's definitely not cream. When you think of the title, it's like putting a cube of ice and pouring cream on top of it. It's not the same. Instead, I think it's just a huge mashed potato mixed with food coloring. Like that's really supposed to mean something. Another thing I don't like about ice cream is the soft serve type of ice cream. I usually thought there was ice cream in the bathroom. Curiously, I had to try it out and it tasted like f***ing soap. To my disappointment, I found out that I was eating shaving cream. This is so f***ing confusing. Soft-serve ice cream and shaving cream should not look like one another! At least change the mixture with a different color, so I wouldn't have to be confused all the time. I wonder what I would look like with black shaving cream? It's like having a fluffy beard. Anyway, ice cream is what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Always love me some ice cream, especially the Chocolate Fudge Brownie flavored ice cream. Dab some chocolate sauce on it and it's chocolate paradise?<br>**

**Got more topics? Just let me know! Later!**


	25. Peter on Black Friday

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25: Peter Griffin on Black Friday<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Black Friday. If the rest of you uggo's don't know what that is, it's the biggest shopping season that occurs after Thanksgiving. That's when prices are slashed half-off from every retail store there is. That's almost cheap as it is. Why in the hell do people call it Black Friday? Should we at least paint ourselves black on Friday? Well, that wouldn't happen since there's a good chance of offending the black man. Anyway, Black Friday should not exist. It just feels wrong to include a post-Thanksgiving holiday where anything racial is involved. If you want a post-Thanksgiving holiday so bad, have F**k-all-night Friday. That sounds way sexy and racy than Black Friday. Anyway, that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>F**k-all-night Friday? Sounds interesting.<br>**

**Got more topics on your mind? You know what to do! Cheers!  
><strong>


	26. Peter on Ariana Grande

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26: Peter Griffin on Ariana Grande<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Ariana Grande. What the hell happened to her all of a sudden. She used to be this sweet red-headed idiot on the Nickelodeon hit shows Victorious and Sam &amp; Cat, and the next thing you know, she's a red-haired whore wearing corset just to tease us for attention and make our d***s rock hard. You know what, forget Amanda Bynes, Lindsay Lohan and Miley Cyrus getting help, Whoriana Grande needs help the most. If she ever comes to my house and teases me with her annoying cleavage, I'm kicking her straight in the sweet spot. That my friends is what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I know it wasn't much, but hey, it's Peter Griffin.<br>**

**Anyway, keep bringing in those topics. C-Ya!  
><strong>


	27. Peter on Lance Armstrong

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 27: Peter Griffin on Lance Armstrong<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Lance Armstrong. The same guy who inspired everyone with cancer to 'live strong'. The same guy who practically won a million medals in Tour De France. A cycling legend at best. He could've been a legend if he didn't cheat on his damn drug tests. I swear, Lance Armstrong cheats as much as Bill Clinton cheats on Hillary. What's difference is that Lance likes juice and Bill likes whores. That's what we need. We need a lot of cancer patients doing a lot of dope, crack, pot, and marijuana just to get strong and inspire a generation. Live strong, you say, Lance? You should change your slogan to 'Live Wrong'. That's what you always do. Thanks to you, baby Stewie smokes now. And that my friends is what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>If there was a Hall of Shame, Lance Armstrong would belong there. Good thing I never watch cycling. It's way too boring for me to watch.<br>**

**Anyway, got any more topics? You know what to do. C-Ya!  
><strong>


	28. Peter on Good Luck Charlie

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28: Peter Griffin on Good Luck Charlie<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? The show "Good Luck Charlie" on the Disney channel. I just don't get it. I just don't get why the show's centered on a 2-year old waiting to explore the world. If the show's called 'Good Luck Charlie', why couldn't they just focus on the baby instead? I really don't care about the other characters by the way. I mean, who cares about the dad? I mean, the guy's nearly fat and bald, and he's more lame than an old<em> Jackass<em> joke. The older son's a bit of a bum, and his hair makes him look like a blonde Beatle. The younger son in that show sucks and it's not worth jacks**t mentioning, even though he looks like a little imp. So far, there are only two good things on that show, the hot mom and the hot older daughter. I could imagine myself in a hot tub with them and they're with me, making out with one another, toss out all the underwear and make a dirty sex video of our threeway. That video would be the t**s. Anyway, show sucks. End of story. Good Luck Charlie grinds my gears."

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I really got to admit. I do watch Good Luck Charlie as well. And who cares? I like the show myself.<br>**

**Anyway, bring me some topics if you want. Later!  
><strong>


	29. Peter on Sharks

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 29: Peter on Sharks<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Sharks. They're frickin' everywhere. In the oceans, on the television and movies, around our aquariums, across the hockey rinks, flying around in tornado formations and stuffed inside tin cans. Eeyup, everyone can't get enough sharks for one day. Except me. Sharks are like dolphins but with teeth so sharp like a frickin' ginsu knife. What's worse than that is that there's a week dedicated to them on Discovery Channel every damn August. Who wants to spend 24 hours having to watch flesh-eating bastards maim every poor living creature that's been living in the deep blue sea, especially the mentally retarded angelfish? Not me. I still even dread the slightest chance of having a shark eat me up in my sleep. And you wonder why I still sleep with my head covered to this day. Anyway, sharks grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Truth be told, Sharks really creep me out too.<strong>

**Got more topics on your mind you want Peter to cover. Let me know. Cheers! :D**


	30. Peter on Ever After High

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 30: Peter on Ever After High<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Ever After High. Just exactly how many high school-themed dolls do we need in this day and age. First we had Monster High, then we had the My Little Pony spinoff called Equestria Girls, and then, we have Ever After High, where you have sons and daughters of famous fairy tale characters. Why in the hell do I care about that? Why cant for once we live in a life without dolls? You know, the kind of dolls that resemble a bunch of girls being friends, hanging out in malls and chasing out those man-whores known as boys? I would definitely live a life without them. You know, the guy stuff. Like football, beer, porn-stars, baseball, apple pie, and action figures for boys. So far, don't care about Ever After High. It's a knock-off, rip-off and it remains s***ty ever after. Although, there is one thing I do like about it. I like how Maddie Hatter acts drugged and f**ked up. But still, Ever After High grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>As much as it hurts me to say this, but I am a huge adult fan of Ever After High. I don't know why, but I just am.<br>**

**Anyway, have more topics you want Peter to cover next, just let me know! Cheers! :D**


	31. Peter on Gravity Falls

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 31: Peter on Gravity Falls<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? "Gravity Falls" on the Disney Channel. Yet, it's another one of those shows that still confuses me with the title. If you're gonna name the show 'Gravity Falls', can you actually make gravity fall from the sky? They would have, but instead, all you have was two kids, an uncle with a fez on top of his head, and a retard with a question mark on his shirt solving mysteries in a quiet little town. Doesn't that remind you of something? Because clearly, Disney Channel must've stolen elements from a show I used to watch in the 90's called 'Twin Peaks'. Yeah, 'Gravity Falls' is definitely like 'Twin Peaks', except that nobody gets murdered, hacked, or stuffed in a body bag. Instead, it's just some supernatural s**t floating all around Disney Channel's toilet. Still, with things included in a show that gets me confused by the title, I still wouldn't watch it. Makes me feel like everyone would be stuck to the ground while gravity's falling. I wonder what basketball's gonna be like if someone were to do a slam dunk without any gravity at all. Boy, I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I agree shows can be confusing to me too.<br>**

**Got more topics you want Peter to cover? You know what to do! Cheers! :D**


	32. Peter on Nickelodeon

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 32: Peter on Nickelodeon<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Nickelodeon. Why has it gotten all bad? I mean, back in the 80's, it was dope and out of sight. With shows like Double Dare, Super Sloppy Double Dare, Family Double Dare, You Can't Do That On Television, All That, Nick Arcade, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Kenan &amp; Kel, Hey Arnold, Rocket Power, Wild Thornberrys, SpongeBob SquarePants, Rugrats, Doug, Rocko's Modern Life, Ren &amp; Stimpy, Drake &amp; Josh, iCarly and Victorious, it was an exciting time. But somehow, I feel like it isn't Nickelodeon anymore. So far, we see less cartoons and more live-action shows. I swear, this is turning into MTV again with less music videos and more reality shows. I hate the new shows that Nickelodeon has. We have "Max &amp; Shred", which is about a teenage scientist and his brother of a snowboarder. Not fun. "Breadwinners" on the other hand, stinks worse than the part where they eat s**t in one of the episodes. I'd avoid it. And about "Nicky, Ricky, Dicky and Dawn"? I'd rather "S**t, poop, vomit and pee" all over the show rather than watch it. It's like Full House, it's not even that remotely funny. At least Disney Channel does those sitcoms justice, and I don't even watch it. Honestly, I think Nick should change it's name to D**k, because that's what it is when it comes to robbing our childhoods. I'll tell ya, that really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I didn't have much to say about Nickelodeon as well. Although, I do tolerate Sanjay &amp; Craig. That show's all right.<br>**

**More topics you want Peter to cover in a future chapter? Let me know! Cheers! :D**


	33. Peter on CM Punk

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 33: Peter on CM Punk<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? CM Punk. I don't know why the hell would he leave WWE without informing any wrestling fan that he was leaving. Next thing you know, he was in the Royal Rumble getting chokeslammed by Krappy Kane and the next thing you know - poof - he was gone in an instant. Not that I haven't watched the Royal Rumble, because I've already told you once that wrestling grinds my gears. However, I'm bringing up CM Punk because he's a disappointment in my eyes and everyone around the WWE Universe. If you wanna get out of the business so damn bad, then at least address the fans and tell them you'd be gone, otherwise you're have a lot of angry 10-year olds go out killing everyone, just to get a stinking CM Punk autograph. I remember what I felt when I went out rampaging to get in a Who concert. When they finally let me in, I accidentally stepped on a brain-dead retarded kid, therefore killing them by accident. You imagine the CM Punk fans acting like that at WWE events, and you're bound to end up in the grave. But if you want to attend a WWE event where someone chants CM Punk and yet he doesn't show up, bring out a swiss army knife. That one does the most damage. Anyway, CM Punk really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Eeyup, CM Punk was definitely WWE's best magic trick. Hopefully, I wish him luck with what he's doing.<br>**

**Got more topics for Peter? Let me know! Salud! :D**


	34. Peter on Microwaves

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 34: Peter on Microwaves<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Microwaves. Why in the hell are they so annoying? They sound like flies having sex with a piece of crap. And don't get me started on how they sound when the food's done. If you ever had a robot scream like Little- Baby-Junior-Son-Of-A-Bitch, that's what it sounds. To this day, I still use a toaster oven to make my meals. Yes, it takes really slow to cook, but at least I can go grab a beer while I wait. Which by the way, I'm gonna go grab a Pawtucket Pat while my Hot Pocket is still cooking. Anyway, Microwaves sucks Satan-balls and it grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I agree with you on that one, Peter.<br>**

**Any topics for Peter to cover? You know what to do! Cheers! :D**


	35. Peter on Grumpy Cat

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 35: Peter on Grumpy Cat<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Grumpy Cat. Apparently, he's this huge internet sensation about a cat who's frowning all the time. I'm not gonna lie, but his face is scary. Just looking at that face gives you nightmares. When I looked at his face, I couldn't poop or pee for a week. You'd me amazed how long I held it in despite drinking all the beer in my fridge. Have you ever seen "The Ring" in where if you watch the video of a creepy girl alongside a white circle, you'd die. This is perhaps the animal comparison of "The Ring". Instead of dying, you'd get a diarrheapiss cocktail. Believe you me, that's a shake you don't wanna try. And that's what grinds my gears."

* * *

><p><strong>Huh, Peter makes extra sense. :D<br>**

**More topics on your mind? You know what to do! C-YA! :D**


	36. Peter on Bugs

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 36: Peter on Bugs<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Bugs. They're all so annoying. No matter where you go, there's a bug nearby making irritating buzzing noises. You ever hear a loud sex toy go off inside a room or inside your cabinet, that's what you're hearing from a bug. Just this last night, I was trying to sleep after having sex, and somehow, I heard this huge bug come inside my room. I got up and grabbed my special newspaper that I keep in my nightstand, and I started whacking away at the thing without even looking. When I looked down to Lois's bedstand, I found out I was hitting away at Lois's plastic banana-flavored johnson. Don't you just hate when things that sound like flies aren't really flies at all? My opinion is that we should get rid everything that sounds like flies, including sex toys and doorbells. But then, our wifes wouldn't satisfy themselves anymore. Well, tough f**k for them. And that's what Bugs and especially things that sound like Bugs really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I do admit it's a bit confusing. :D<br>**

**Got more topics for Peter to cover in a future chapter? Let me know! C-YA! :D**


	37. Peter on Bill Cosby

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 37: Peter on Bill Cosby<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Bill Cosby. The very same man who in the 1980's, infested into our television tubes as the always coked-up, happy-go-lucky Dr. Cliff Huxtable in 'The Cosby Show'. 30 years later and we find out that he's nothing but an old skirt-chasing creep with a sweater. Imagine if Cliff Huxtable was just like Bill Cosby in real life now, and his TV wife were to find out. Then it wouldn't be "The Cosby Show" anymore, would it? I'd think not since Bill Cosby would likely be killed by Phylicia Rashad for hearing such ridiculous news as this. Imagine naming the sitcom after Theo or perhaps Rudy. They're way more likable than that old fart themselves. But then again, I'm mostly a "Married... With Children" and "Family Matters" man myself. In my mind, Cosby Show is poopy. But at least it's way better than "Full House". Anyway, Bill Cosby (aka Sexual Jello) grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I agree with Peter on Bill Cosby. He definitely lost way more than his respect, I'll tell ya that!<br>**

**More topics on your mind for the fat-man? Let me know! Later! :D**


	38. Peter on Dora The Explorer

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 38: Peter on Dora The Explorer<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Dora The Explorer. That show is so awfully retarded. Who on earth would wanna see a little Mexican girl go exploring with a talking backpack. Please explain to me why someone would leave their 6-year old to go out unsupervised? I don't know, maybe Dora's some kind of child prostitute? That's wrong and immoral. But why on earth does a backpack come alive and talk? Maybe a midget's hiding in there and he's flapping the lid, so that it could make the backpack talk. Or maybe the backpack's possessed by Satan, ordering you to sell out your body to hundreds of Mexican men waiting to be horny like the donkey they're riding on. I'm very positive that Satan orders Dora to slut herself for cash. That's way more than wrong. So far, I don't give a damn about the rest of the show, other than the fact that the backpack just sold his soul in order to talk. Plus, a monkey wearing boots is way more inhumane than the talking backpack. Enough said, Anyway, Dora The Explorer grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Well said, Peter!<br>**

**Anyway, you have more topics for Peter? You know what to do! WHOOHAH! :D**


	39. Peter on Math

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 39: Peter on Math<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Math. Tell me, why in the f**k is it so hard? It's like having to find out how many toenails there are inside a jar. Why on earth do I have to use math to figure out who's there in attendance, how many beer there is in my fridge, how many clouds I have to count in the sky. Truth is, having to figure out these problems with math is just a waste of space. How to add, subtract, divide and multiply is just a distraction from the real things in life. I wish someone would just ban math from our schools. It's okay for us to use the numbers for counting, but forcing me to figure out math equations is like giving a retarded monkey a gun for Christmas. Hopefully, you pray that he doesn't shoot anybody in the head without being stupid. And that's why math grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Eeyup. Good thing I'm a grown man!<br>**

**Any topics for Peter you want him to use? Let me know! WHOOHAH! :D**


	40. Peter on Fred

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 40: Peter on Fred<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? That internet sensation called "Fred". I can't tell you how f***ing annoying kid's voice is. It's so high-pitched, it makes your eardrums, eyes and butthole bleed. If you mix a banshee and one of the Bee Gees kicked in the balls, that's what he sounds like. I rather have my friends drive a sledgehammer through my brain than listen to Fred talk. I'd die with a smashed brain, but at least it's better than nothing. Oh, and Annoying Orange is bull-s**t. Both of them should die in a blender, alongside a pile of wet dog s**t that's been blended up as well. Trust me, that's a shake you don't to try. And that's what really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I agree with Peter. Fred sucks.<br>**

**So, any topics you want Peter to cover next chapter? You know what to do! WHOOHAH! :D**


	41. Peter on Chris Crocker

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 41: Peter on Chris Crocker<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? That Chris Crocker guy on YouTube. You know, the guy who looks like a girl and crying, thinking some dog died or something. No, it's all because she told the Britney Spears haters to leave her alone. The way he says it makes your ears hurt. All that bitching and annoying she does. I actually got words for Chris Crocker himself. If I saw him, I'd tell him to light the f**k up! We don't need to hear you f**king cry and bitch all the time. Because every time you do, it makes me increase the chances of shooting my brain clean off with a shotgun. My advice to you Chris, is to shut the f**k up. And that's what Chris Crocker grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I agree I didn't like that video either. Then again, I don't listen to Britney Spears in the first place.<br>**

**More topics you want Peter to cover in a later chapter? You know what to do! BAZINGA! :D**


	42. Peter on My Ass

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 42: Peter on My Ass<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? My ass. What can I say? It farts, it poops, it farts again, and sometimes, it sneezes s**t juice. Once, I had my daughter mistake my s**t juice for Pomegranite juice. Took her 100 breath mints to make that breath of hers clean again. I wonder what it look like if guys never had any asses in the first place? If he didn't have any asses, we wouldn't poop anymore. At least for the gay guys, they won't have to worry about being rammed anymore. And that's why my ass really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, that was weird.<br>**

**More topics for Peter to cover next? You know what to do! BAZINGA! :D**


	43. Peter on Nuts

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 43: Peter on Nuts<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Nuts. There are all types of nuts: Big nuts, small nuts, corn nuts, peanuts, almonds, walnuts, pecans, psychotic maniacs, squirrels, peanut brittles, nards, nads, testicles, balls, and kiwis. That's a whole lot of nuts. Imagine if you were to call salted peanuts, 'testicles'. We would be eating salty nuts that tasted like somebody's crotch rot. And who on earth wants that to begin with? Anyway, nuts suck and I wish someone would nail Mr. Peanut to the f***ing cross. And that's why nuts really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Yeah, I admit nuts was never my thing to begin with. I prefer Doritos instead,<br>**

**Got any more topics for the fat man itself? You know what to do! BOO-YAH! :D**


	44. Peter on Underwear

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 44: Peter on Underwear<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? Underwear. Why do we even wear it in the first place? It's not right. It's like having to wear toilet paper around your crotch. Heck, it's like a paper diaper. Only this time, when you accidentally poop, you get brown underwear. Good thing I don't wear underwear to begin with? You even wanna know why I wear green so much? It's because I fart so much. And I like it. Anyway, underwear really grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I'm not gonna lie. Underwears are for squares.<br>**

**Anyway, more topics for Peter you want him to cover next chapter? You know what to do! WOOOOOO! :D**


	45. Peter on Austin & Ally

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 45: Peter on Austin &amp; Ally<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? "Austin &amp; Ally" on the Disney Channel. I hate how the blonde guy on the show has a scary smile. It's so wider than a frickin' football field. Yeah, I agree the guy's talented enough to be a rockstar, but every time I have to see that smile of his, I shiver to death. I'm telling ya, Ross Lynch's smile is so scary enough to make him a movie monster. And about that Ally girl, I will admit that she's hot, even for a teenager. Yeah, she may be 19 years old and I'm only 40 years old, but if I were to find the fountain of youth to age back 20 years, then I would so hit that. I know it's weird, but I think that Ally chick is so bangable. So far, the show should be called 'The Ally Show", instead of just "Austin &amp; Ally". To be clearly honest, Ross Lynch is actually Dove Cameron with a sex change. Plain and simple. And that's why "Austin &amp; Ally" grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>I do admit I like the show myself. That and "Liv &amp; Maddie" as well. Who knows? Maybe I might have Peter grind his gears on "Liv &amp; Maddie" next.<br>**

**But it's all up to you! What do you think? Feedbacks are welcome! WOOOOOO! :D**


	46. Peter on SpongeBob SquarePants

**"You Know What Grinds My Gears?"**

**Rated T**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with Family Guy or any of the characters. Family Guy and the characters are owned by FOX and the creator, Seth McFarlane. Anyway, I was inspired by one of the episodes of Family Guy, and I suggested that I do a fic based on the segment that Peter Griffin did called 'You Know What Grinds My Gears'? Enjoy!**

**P.S.: For many of you who didn't know who Dove Cameron is (because of a reviewer didn't know in the reviews section), she's an actress who stars in the Disney Channel sitcom, Liv & Maddie. If you haven't checked it out, go see it. She is that beautiful.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 46: Peter on SpongeBob SquarePants<br>**

* * *

><p>"You know what grinds my gears? SpongeBob SquarePants. Remember when I was trashing Austin &amp; Ally and mentioned the part about Ross Lynch's creepy smile? The way this sponge smiles gives you chills around your d**k. It's so scary it makes you pee yourself until you can't pee anymore. And the way he laughs is so irritating. Hearing that makes you wanna grab your syringe needle and stick it right on your arm, killing you on impact. I haven't seen the cartoon until recently, and to be honest. He looks like a gay bucktoothed child. My advice to that homoerotic sponge in the sea: Get straight, stop acting like a child and grow... the f**k... up! This is the 2010's. It's not f**king 1999 anymore. No one should have to act like gay homoerotic children like SpongeBob SquarePants here. And that's why he grinds my gears."<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Amen to that, Peter.<br>**

**Got more topics for him in a later chapter? You know what to do! WOOOOOO! :D**


End file.
